The Past Shapes the Future
by craftyjhawk
Summary: Elena's decision to deal with her biggest regret leads her away from Mystic Falls. *future fic*
1. It's Hard to Walk Away

Elena Gilbert woke up bright and early that Saturday morning. Opening her eyes, she saw dawn stretching its pink and purple fingers across the cloudless sky. The weather forecast called for a gorgeous spring day, which seemed so wrong to her. If any day was going to be cold and gloomy, this was certainly the one.

Elena turned her head away from the window and toward the man who slept next to her. She was always amazed by the look of utter peace that sleep painted across his face. Her hand itched to reach out and brush the sleep-mussed hair off his forehead, but she restrained herself, not wanting to wake him. Instead, she stared at him, committing the moment to memory. He might be approaching the two century mark, but Damon Salvatore did not look a day over twenty-five.

Elena slid smoothly out of bed without waking Damon, thanks to years of experience. Her habit of going for early morning runs had numbed him to her movements. She grabbed her running clothes on the way to the bathroom and quickly changed. After brushing her teeth and throwing her hair up in a high ponytail, she took a minute to really look at herself in the mirror, something she tried not to do very often.

She was staring down the barrel at forty and her face showed it. There wasn't one thing she could point to, but she knew she no longer looked like the fresh-faced eighteen year old that had fallen in love with the eternally young vampire.

Elena turned away from the mirror. Agonizing over facts that couldn't be changed was getting her nowhere. She paused to look at Damon again, making sure he was still sleeping, before walking out their bedroom door.

She always felt so human when she tried to move quietly. Every step she made seemed to echo through the boarding house at one hundred decibels. Twenty years of living with a vampire had taught her that she was never as stealthy as she'd like to think, but that didn't stop her from trying. When she reached the foyer, she waited for the telltale breeze to rush past her ponytail, announcing Damon's arrival. One minute, two minutes, and still she stood alone in the foyer.

Elena grabbed her keys from the catch-all table next to the front door, leaving her phone behind, she slipped out the door, closing it quietly behind her.

* * *

Damon slid his hand across Elena's side of the bed and found only cold sheets. He hated waking up to a cold, empty bed, not that he would ever tell her. Elena swore that her best writing happened while she was on her morning run when she could just let her mind wander. Who was he to begrudge her that time alone?

He showered, shaved and dressed while waiting for her. She hadn't returned by the time he walked down to the kitchen to start her breakfast. Damon assumed she had gotten a late start and he would hear her walk through the door any minute. He bustled around the kitchen, gathering what he needed to make her western omelet, warming up a blood bag for himself and continued to wait.

His patience lasted as long as the blood in his mug did. Even if she had left after he got up, she would have been back. It was definitely time to go look for his girlfriend. Trouble still had a habit of finding her when they were least expecting it.

He was reaching for the doorknob just as Elena's phone began to ring. Frowning, he picked it up to answer it. He did not like her going out without a way to contact him.

"Stef! How's Paris, bro?"

"Damon? I thought I called Elena's phone." Stefan's confusion was evident. Damon could picture his furrowed brow.

"You did. She forgot to take it on her run. Again." He heard Stefan's chuckle, knowing it was directed at Damon's frustration, not Elena's annoying habit. "So, what's up?"

"I just wanted to tell Elena that Caroline and I would be home for her birthday."

"She'll be very happy to hear that. I'll have her call you when she gets home. I need to go, Stef. Gotta go find my little danger magnet. She should have been home by now."

"OK, brother, just tell her to call me. Don't spoil the surprise. I want to be the one to tell her."

Damon ended the call without another word, his concern for Elena growing by the second. He walked out the front door, heading for his car. He had taken about five steps onto the driveway when he stopped dead in his tracks. Where he should have seen Elena's SUV parked next to his 'new' Camaro, he saw an empty stretch of driveway.

"Elena, where the hell **are** you?"

* * *

Elena knew that every minute, every mile that she put between herself and Mystic Falls was borrowed. Damon could have discovered her absence as soon as she pulled out of the driveway or two hours later. That just meant she needed to put the next phase of her plan into action as soon as possible. She had to keep moving, keep focused, no time for thinking or looking back.

Lucky for her, Elena had picked up a few things from Damon, like how to disappear. She knew all of his contacts, the ones willing to help Damon's human girlfriend, but wouldn't hesitate to tell him what she was doing. Those she avoided. Instead, she had gone to the ones who would be willing to help her to spite Damon, willing to do anything that would ultimately hurt him. She had found eight who were more than willing to supply her with a new identity.

Her first stop was Richmond where she had a car reserved with alias number one. She looked over her shoulder the entire drive, not relaxing until she was behind the wheel of the rental, heading for Cincinnati. With her Audi abandoned in Richmond and an alias on the rental agreement, she hoped she had thrown a stumbling block in Damon's path.

Once in Cincinnati, she turned in the rental car and boarded a flight to LA, using a different alias, of course. From LA, she flew to Hong Kong and eventually to Sydney, each time under a different name.

She walked out of the Sydney airport completely exhausted, barely able to remember which name she should answer to. She hailed a taxi, relieved that her journey was almost over. She gave the driver the address for the house she had rented using new identity number five and stared blankly out the window as the city passed by.

Elena almost cried with relief when the taxi pulled into the driveway of her new, temporary, home. She paid the driver and was grateful when he got out to help her get her luggage out of the trunk. Elena watched the taxi back out of the driveway before attempting to haul her luggage to the front door. Her head popped up at the sound of the front door slamming shut. A huge smile lit her face when she saw who was walking toward her.

* * *

_A/N - So, here is my new fic, dear readers. Please let me know what you think in the little box below. I have the next several chapters written and plan on posting weekly. Thank you so much for reading! ~ craftyjhawk_


	2. I'm Falling to Pieces

Damon was freaking out. All signs pointed to Elena leaving by her own choice. Her car was gone as was a good portion of her wardrobe. Her cellphone had been left behind, obviously so he couldn't track her. She knew he wasn't above using a little compulsion to get a GPS tracker put on her phone. Apparently, she had picked up a few tips without him realizing it.

He had called his friendly deputy sheriff, Matt Donovan, who put a BOLO out on Elena's SUV. He had called Jeremy in Denver, who hadn't spoken to Elena in a few weeks. Bonnie hadn't answered when he phoned her in Charlotte. Stefan and Caroline were catching the first flight out of Paris to help him search.

It wasn't until he had exhausted all his readily available options that his thoughts ventured into territory that he never thought he would visit. Why would Elena leave him? Things had been good between them, he would have said nearly perfect, if that didn't feel like he was asking for trouble. He just didn't understand, but he intended to find her and make her explain it to him until he did.

"Bonnie!" Elena squealed as she rushed to wrap her best friend in a hug. "I wasn't expecting you to be here."

"Surprise!" Bonnie pulled back to get a better look at her friend, concerned by what she saw. "I didn't want you to be alone. How are you doing?"

"Can we get my stuff in the house before I fall apart? If I start talking, I'll start crying. Once I start, I'm afraid I won't stop. Just give me a few minutes to appreciate the fact that you are here with me, okay?"

"You got it. Come on, let's get your stuff inside." Bonnie grabbed the two suitcases closest to her and started walking toward the house.

* * *

Stefan had never seen Damon look as agitated as when he and Caroline arrived at the boarding house. He was waiting for another lead that he could follow. Damon had already driven to Richmond and back after Elena's SUV had been found. He had compelled his way through the airport security office and looked through the video feeds. Elena didn't show up on any of them.

Nor had he seen Damon look so hopeless, not even when found Katherine hadn't been in the tomb. When the Richmond lead became a dead end, Damon was left waiting for another lead to appear. And waiting. And waiting. The longer he had to wait, the more his hope seemed to fade.

"Damon," Stefan paused, wanting to be sure that his brother was actually listening to him, "Caroline and I were talking on the plane. You and Elena have had to lay low at times, right?" Damon nodded and Stefan continued. "Did you ever use other identities?"

"We have, but I thought of that, Stef. I've called all of my usual guys. None of them have heard from Elena."

"I thought of that. Would Elena contact one of your regulars? She might be worried about them telling you what name she was using. Or, would she try to find her way to someone you would never use, someone you wouldn't automatically think of?"

Stefan definitely had Damon's attention. He watched as Damon chewed on his lower lip, thinking over the possibilities.

"Elena is smart, Damon. You can't tell me she hasn't picked up some of your tricks in the last twenty years."

Damon, realizing that Stefan had a point, turned and threw the crystal tumbler in his hand at the fireplace.

"Damn it! You're right. Time to start making more phone calls, but I have no idea how we will get any of these guys to talk."

"Leave it to me, brother," Stefan put his hand on Damon's shoulder, "I know exactly who we can get to help us."

* * *

After a nap, dinner and a bottle of wine, Elena was finally ready talk. The girls lounged on the leather sectional in the living room, admiring the view of the Sydney out the picture window.

"Alright, Elena, tell me. How are you doing? Really? I know it wasn't easy for you to leave Damon like that."

"It's awful! I miss him so much, more than I had imagined. I want to call him, just to hear his voice, but I'm afraid that if I do, he'll find me." Elena absently brushed away the tears on her cheeks.

"You know, he's been calling me. Every message he leaves is a little more frantic that the last. You need to let him know you're okay."

"What then, Bonnie? He'll want to know where I am, what I'm doing. This is better. As far as he knows, I just walked away. He'll miss me, he'll look for me. Eventually, he'll give up."

"Right, like he gave up on Katherine? He didn't give up on her until he saw with his own eyes that she wasn't in the tomb. He spent one hundred and forty-five years waiting for someone he only **thought** he loved. Knowing that, knowing how much he loves you, can you imagine how long he will look for you? Elena, he is not going to give up."

* * *

"Can one of you explain to me why the Cincinnati airport is in Kentucky?" Caroline piped up from the backseat of their rental car.

"Car-o-line" Stefan said in a sing-song manner that was his hint for her to drop it. He spared her a glance over his shoulder as he sped down the interstate toward the Cincinnati airport. After a slight nod from her, he turned his attention back to the road, wishing there was a more direct route. He was spending way too much time focusing on the next exit and not nearly enough time pulling his brother out of the shell into which he had retreated.

Stefan needn't have worry about whether or not Caroline's constant chatter was annoying Damon. Damon had simply tuned the two of them out as he reexamined his conversation with Elijah earlier in the day. Stefan's idea to call Elijah had been brilliant, not that Damon would ever tell him. Elijah had always had a soft spot for Elena. Of course, he would be willing to help find her as long as it didn't negatively affect his family.

Damon stared out the window as he replayed the conversation, looking for any clue he might have missed.

"Damon, I have spoken to several rather unsavory persons who are in the business of providing identities to those wishing to disappear."

"And…" Damon had never appreciated Elijah's flair for the dramatic and it was only serving to antagonize him at the moment.

"I have two names that Elena might be using – Jennifer Sawyer and Isabella Franklin."

Damon's non-beating heart seemed to pound in his chest. Finally, he had something to go on. Speeding up to his bedroom, he threw some clothes in a bag, grabbed his keys and wallet and was out the front door before he realized he didn't know where he was going. He stopped dead in his tracks and waited. Surely, Elijah had more information than that. Thankfully, Elijah did not disappoint.

"Jennifer Sawyer rented a car in Richmond and returned it at the Cincinnati airport. I will continue on my end, but I thought you would appreciate an update."

Damon stood quietly for a moment before doing something he didn't think he had ever done before. He thanked Elijah for his help before ending the call.

Back in the car speeding toward their only clue, Damon had a nagging feeling that there was something else in what Elijah had said that was just out of his reach.

* * *

_A/N - And there you have chapter 2, a day early even. Hope you enjoyed it, even though you might be confused at this point. Please bear with me. It will become clear. I promise! I'd love to know what you think. Don't forget: reviews feed the muse. See you next week with chapter 3! ~ craftyjhawk_


	3. Holding on and Letting Go

"Elena, are you sure you want to do this? To say it's risky is putting it mildly." Bonnie had agreed to help Elena in any way she could, but that didn't mean she couldn't try to talk her friend out of this course of action.

"I'm sure, Bonnie. I have to at least try this."

"You know the risks. It's not just a matter of whether or not it works. It's whether or not you die. Are you really sure? Once we start, there is no backing out."

Elena reached across the couch and grabbed Bonnie's hand. She had no doubts about her plans. Now, she needed to erase her friend's.

"Bonnie, I need to do this. I want to be with Damon forever, not just another twenty, thirty or forty years. Forever."

"Elena! You can have that right now. Just have him turn you. Let's forget about all of this and go home. You tell Damon what you just told me. He'll turn you faster than you can say Damon Salvatore. You can have forever."

Elena shook her head. Bonnie just didn't get it.

* * *

Damon, who had dozed off, sat bolt upright, his eyes wide open like he had just had a 'aha' moment. Before Stefan could ask what was going on, Damon had pulled his phone from his pocket and shot off a text. After a few more rapidly exchanged texts, Damon dropped his phone in the center console and answered Stefan's unasked question.

"The two names that Elijah gave us, Jennifer and Isabella, there was something that was bugging me about them. They almost sound familiar."

Damon's phone buzzed, another text received. After reading it and tapping out a response, he returned his phone to the console.

"I might actually be onto something here. Jennifer and Isabella, they're kind of like Jenna and-"

"Isobel!" Caroline exclaimed. "They are close to Jenna and Isobel. You don't think that's a coincidence?"

"I might have, except Elijah just checked with one of those 'unsavory persons' he told me about earlier. After Elena contacted him about the fake ID, another woman approached him. She gave him a specific name that she wanted him to use on the ID and doubled his fee to make it happen."

Stefan's brow furrowed even more than usual. "Why would someone do that?"

"Again, I wondered that too, until Elijah gave me the woman's description – black, 5'2" or 5'3", petite, green eyes. Sound like anyone we know?"

"Bonnie!" Stefan and Caroline shouted in unison.

The girls stayed up talking late into the night. Elena felt like she was revisiting territory that she had covered a thousand times, but she needed Bonnie to understand her reasoning, even if she didn't agree with it.

Elena started with the most superficial of her reasons. She had seen the looks from younger girls, lusting over Damon and wondering what he was doing with a 'cougar' like Elena. It was only a matter of time before the looks moved from curiosity to disgust as she continued to age and he didn't. She hated that it bothered her so much.

Elena moved on to the reason that had haunted her since her parents died. Abandonment, in one form or another. She had lost so many people beginning with Grayson and Miranda Gilbert, moving on to Jenna, John, Alaric, even Isobel and so many others she just couldn't name. She had grieved and moved on after each of those deaths.

Once Elena and Damon got together, part of her had worried that he would tire of her and move on. How could a twenty year old possibly keep the attention of a vampire who had walked the earth for more than one hundred and seventy years? If she were completely honest, she still wondered why he had stay with her for so long.

When she tried to imagine her life without Damon, she couldn't. It was too painful. She would rather relive the deaths of her loved ones over and over again, than face living a day without Damon. If there were something that she could do to be with him forever, she had to do it.

Elena could see that Bonnie still had her doubts. She did the only thing she could think of. She dug down deep, dredging up her biggest confession, her biggest regret, her most cowardly act.

If anyone had asked a twenty-one year old Elena how she pictured her life at the age of forty, she would have had two answers. She would either be dead or she would be a vampire. She assumed the decision would be taken out of her hands. For so many years, she faced death on an almost daily basis. All too often, her survival was the result of vampire blood in her system. She had accepted that there would come a time with the blood wasn't enough to save her, but would instead bring her back. The decision would be made for her. Choosing to avoid making a conscious decision was cowardly. She realized that leaving it all to chance meant that in a way, she had never completely chosen Damon. That was her biggest regret.

Bonnie hugged her friend, fully understanding Elena's choice. She promised to do whatever Elena needed her to do, to support her completely.

* * *

Elena had gone to get ready for bed, while Bonnie locked up the house. Bonnie's phone buzzed, the lit screen announcing another call from Damon. She slipped outside, hoping that Elena wouldn't hear the conversation. She had agreed to support Elena completely. She intended to do that, even if her idea of support might be different that Elena's.

"Damon! Hi, what's up? Sorry I missed your earlier calls."

"Bonnie, where's Elena? I know you're in on this, whatever **this** is."

"Damon, I can't tell you what is going on with Elena. I'm spending time with my friend, Shelley."

"Shelley? Who the hell is Shelley?" Damon demanded. "Please, Bonnie, just tell me where Elena is. I need to talk to her. Please."

Bonnie could count on one hand the number of times that Damon Salvatore had used the word 'please' with her. His breaking heart was breaking her own. But, under no circumstance could she tell him what he wanted to know. Instead, she had to keep leaving bread crumbs, hoping that he would follow them.

"I'm sorry, Damon. I'm with my friend, Shelley Benjamin. But, if I hear from Elena, I'll tell her that you called. And, Damon, don't give up on her."

* * *

_A/N - Once again, thanks for reading! Every favorite, follow and review mean so much. ~ craftyjhawk_


	4. Gotta Get to You, Gotta See This Through

Damon jogged to catch up to Stefan and Caroline as they walked into the Cincinnati airport. After ending the call with Bonnie, he had texted the new name to Elijah. Now that he had seen the pattern with Elena's aliases, Bonnie's clue to him was glaringly obvious. She was trying to help him without letting Elena know what she was doing.

As the trio strode into the terminal, Damon filled the others in on his conversation with Bonnie. They came to the same conclusion as he had. Shelley Benjamin was similar to Shelia Bennett and therefore another name to check out.

They paused just inside the entrance, taking a look around to see if by some miracle they saw Elena. Damon couldn't help but wish they weren't surrounded by hundreds of people. Under normal circumstance, he could pick Elena's heartbeat out of a crowd. There were just too many people milling about for him to be able to do that. Same for her scent. He could walk into any room and know whether or not Elena had been there, just by picking up on her scent, the cucumber melon shampoo, citrusy perfume and the special ingredient that was pure Elena. Instead, all he could smell in the crowded terminal was the tea rose fragrance favored by grandmas, the Old Spice slathered on by the elderly men and the hipsters alike. It all overpowered anything else he would have been able to pick up on.

While Stefan and Caroline compelled their way through the security checkpoint to look for Elena at the departure gates, Damon compelled his way into the security office, just like he had at the Richmond Airport. Within minutes, he found himself sitting at a bank of monitors, while a security agent pulled up video from around the time Elena had turned in the rental car. He knew that if he could spot her walking into the terminal, he could be able to track her movements through the airport. There were just too many cameras for her to be able to avoid being spotted.

He thought he had hit the jackpot, when after fifteen minutes he spotted Elena stepping down from an airport shuttle bus. The fuchsia wrap dress that skimmed just below her knees was new, as was the large black suitcase she pulled behind her. He could see the stress radiating off her, from the tension she carried in her shoulders, to the harsh set of her mouth, to the brisk pace at which she walked.

With the aid of his helpful-by-compulsion friend, he was able to track Elena through the terminal and straight to the women's restroom. He watched and waited for her to exit. After twenty minutes and still no Elena, he told the agent to rewind to the point where she had entered the restroom. Damon had made a mistake. He had been looking for Elena when he should have been looking for anyone other than Elena. He watched the footage again, ignoring clothing and appearance, instead focusing on body language and carriage. When, after ten minutes, he saw an auburn-haired woman exit wearing black slacks and a black sweater, he knew he had found her. She could change everything about the way she looked, but he knew intimately how her body moved and that couldn't be hidden under wigs and clothing.

The agent paused the video and zoomed in at Damon's request. If Damon had needed any confirmation that the woman he was staring at was Elena, he found it on the ring finger of her left hand.

Damon had taken Elena to Hawaii for her twenty-first birthday, a slice of island paradise for the two of them. Their last night there he had surprised her with a small blue velvet box that she knew could only hold one thing. When Damon slid it onto her right ring finger, a ring that could have many meanings, she was speechless. As far as he was concerned, the meaning of the ring would be her choice. She knew the lapis lazuli stone meant that the ring could double as a daylight ring if she ever turned. She knew that the delicate Salvatore crest, with the tiny 'E' engraved in it, marked her as a Salvatore, whether she carried the name or not. Without any words, he had placed the direction of their future in her hands.

Seeing that ring on her left hand instead of the right, sent a message whether she intended it or not. God, he hoped she did, that this was temporary, that she would return to him.

Turning his focus once again to the video, he watched as Elena made her way through the terminal, the security checkpoint and to a departure gate. He watched as she sat, knee bouncing with nervousness. A book was grasped in her hands, unread. Her coffee, sat forgotten by her feet. She checked her watch so often, he was surprised she hadn't just been staring at it. He watched as she stood finally, gathering her carry-on bag and purse and walked down the jetway, boarded a plane that was Los Angeles bound.

* * *

Elena had tossed and turned all night, finally dragging her weary body from the bed just before five in the morning. An hour later, she still sat at the kitchen table, a cold cup of coffee at her elbow. As she twirled her Salvatore ring around her finger, she stared at the cell phone Bonnie had bought for her. She wasn't sure if she was trying to talk herself into calling Damon or out of it. So, she just stared, waiting for the right decision to make itself known.

She considered texting Jeremy, but hesitated. She needed to know if he was firmly on Team Elena or was leaning toward Team Damon. She knew that he would be angry at her for leaving without a word. She just wanted to assure him that she was okay, but couldn't risk him telling Damon she had contacted him. Maybe she would have Bonnie talk to him first, feel out where his loyalties lay.

Elena had done a lot of soul searching before making her decision to go through with her drastic plan. She had a come to a realization that saddened her more that she could say. It was the ultimate reason for her decision, although she would never tell Bonnie. Bonnie thought that her biggest regret was not turning years ago. That was a lie. That wasn't her biggest regret. This was.

She had never completely committed herself to Damon. She thought she had. Elena knew it would only ever be Damon for her. She would never love anyone else. She assumed he knew that as well. But, what if he didn't? Had she come right out and said it? Sure, thousands of times. Did she ever really show it in the ways that really mattered? Maybe not.

She had always held herself back a little. She didn't mean the vampire-thing. He would never pressure her about that. He always wanted her to have the choice that had been taken from him. No, she held herself back in small ways, like wearing his ring on her right hand. At first, she did it because at the age of twenty-one, she wasn't ready to make a lifetime commitment, not even to Damon. Later, she continued to wear it on her right hand, whether from habit or stubbornness, she wasn't sure.

She also held herself back in big ways. She knew from the moment Damon slid that ring on her finger that he wanted to marry her. It was something else he refused to push her on, another choice that was completely hers. She looked back now at all of the years she could have been Damon's wife and her heart ached. She would be proud to be his wife, to have him as her husband. It was what she wanted more than anything. She just hoped that she survived what she was about to do and that Damon could forgive her, would want her back, would marry her.

* * *

_A/N - Just a little note - Damon's scenes are always behind Elena's time-wise. I hope the jumps between POV and time aren't too confusing. Thanks so much for reading and a review would completely make my day! ~ craftyjhawk_


	5. Is It Dark Where You Are?

Bonnie sat across the kitchen table from Elena, one hand holding her friend's, the other holding her cell phone. As she waited for her call to be answered, she realized she hadn't stopped to calculate the time difference between Sydney and Denver. When Elena said she wanted Bonnie to call Jeremy, she didn't hesitate. She was just happy that Elena was willing to reach out to anyone.

"Where is she, Bonnie? I know you know where she is," Jeremy barked across the line.

"It's nice to hear your voice, too, Jer. How's everything in Denver?" Bonnie tried deflecting his anger. He needed to be calm if he wanted to talk to Elena.

"Bonnie, don't try to change the subject. Where is my sister?" He sounded on edge and Bonnie couldn't blame him. As far as he was concerned, his sister had been missing for four days. "Damon has called, he's called like a thousand times. He's not giving up."

"I know, Jeremy, he's called me, too." She still refused to confirm that she was with Elena. "What has Damon said?"

"The last I heard, he, Stefan and Caroline were heading to LA. He's hoping to get another lead from Elijah when they land." Jeremy sighed before continuing. "Bonnie, can I just talk to her. I need to know she's okay. I won't even tell Damon that I talked to her."

Those were the magic words she had been hoping for. Giving Elena a smile, she handed her the phone.

"Hey, Jer-"

Bonnie headed upstairs to shower, leaving Elena alone to talk to her brother. She was happy to hear that Damon had traced Elena to LA. She wondered which names he had managed to trace. The previous evening, Elena had mentioned starting her trip with eight aliases. Bonnie had only know about seven. So, there was a name that didn't fit the pattern and could throw a monkey wrench into her plan. She could only hope that Elena hadn't used that one yet. She was sure that if Damon could track Elena to Sydney, he would be able to find her no matter what name she was using.

* * *

As soon as the wheels touched down in Los Angeles, Damon's phone was out of his pocket and powered on. By the time he had retrieved his carryon bag from the overhead compartment, his phone had buzzed three times in rapid succession. He glanced at it just long enough to see he had received two text messages from Elijah and one from Jeremy. He pushed his way past the other first class passengers, all the way out into the terminal. He came to a dead stop, heedless of the people walking by, bumping into him, telling him to get out of their way.

He read Jeremy's message first, all two words – Elena's safe. That was it. Nothing about how he knew, whether or not he had talked to her, any reason why Damon should accept it.

At least Elijah's texts were more informative. Isabella Franklin had booked a flight to Hong Kong out of LA. Unfortunately, Elena Gilbert had booked a flight to Sao Paulo. Elijah wasn't able to confirm which flight she was on or even if she had boarded one of them. In his later text, Elijah said that the name Elena had used for the flight to LA was Carolyn Foster, seemingly keeping the pattern intact.

Damon whispered a thank you to Bonnie and called Jeremy as he walked to the ticket counter to book a flight to Hong Kong, leaving Stefan and Caroline to follow along.

* * *

Showered, dressed and packed for a week away from the house, Elena and Bonnie climbed into the rental car and set off for their unknown destination. Their instructions were to text upon their departure and they would receive GPS coordinates for their destination.

Waiting until they were on the road to get the coordinates was throwing yet another kink in Bonnie's plan. She had wanted to leave the coordinates at the house for Damon to find, obviously that was not impossible. After racking her brain for a plan B, she had a few possibilities. She could text them to Damon directly, but wasn't sure that was the best plan. If he arrived in time to stop the spell, Elena would never forgive her. Her other option was to send the coordinates to Jeremy, knowing that he would pass them on to Damon.

First things first, though, Bonnie needed the coordinates. After Elena insisted that she was too distracted to be driving, Bonnie was stuck with the task while Elena sent the text and entered the coordinates into the GPS once she received them. That effectively prevented Bonnie from sending the coordinates to anyone for the present. She would have to wait until they stopped for gas when she could hopefully distract Elena long enough to do it. With a full tank, though, it would be a while before they made that stop.

Bonnie pulled herself from her musings to find Elena exchanging text messages with someone. Catching Bonnie's curious glance, Elena answered her unasked question.

"Jeremy"

Turning back to her phone, Elena tapped out one last text before dropping it in her lap.

"Jeremy says that Damon has been calling him almost nonstop. I hate that he is having to lie to Damon about talking to me."

Elena stared out the window while she chewed on her lower lip. Bonnie recognized the signs. Elena's guilt over the way she left Damon was catching up to her. If there was ever going to be a time to talk Elena out of going through with the spell, this would be it. Unfortunately, she has already tried so many times, she didn't know how to broach the subject without alienating her best friend. Not for the first time, she wished that Caroline has been included in Elena's plan. She could use the blonde's help right now.

"Elena, I know your mind is made up, so, as much as I'd like for you to change it, I'm giving up on that. I just want you to reconsider talking to Damon. You don't have to tell him what you're going to do. Just tell him goodbye, give him some closure in case something goes wrong." Bonnie paused, knowing what she was about to say was unfair, but deciding to go ahead anyway. "You are altering time here, Elena. There is no guarantee you will come back from this. If you don't, Damon will never forgive you, especially if you leave things the way they are now."

* * *

_A/N - Finally, a clue to what Elena is doing! More about that in the next chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing! ~ craftyjhawk_


	6. Show Me Where to Look

Jeremy knew he had made the right decision, but it didn't make the waiting any easier. He paced, phone in hand, glancing at the clock every few minutes, knowing that Damon's plane would be landing in Hong Kong any time now. When Damon saw his one word text, he would waste no time calling Jeremy. Jeremy had managed to avoid Damon's calls from LA, but now, with the vampire on a different continent, it was time to tell what little he knew.

He worried that Elena might not forgive him for what he had done. However, after talking to both Bonnie and Elena, there was more to the story than Elena leaving Damon, he was sure of it. If she had decided she needed to leave Damon, Jeremy would have supported her, whether he agreed or not. But, Elena was being evasive and Bonnie was being secretive yet helpful, which led Jeremy to one conclusion. His sister, whom Damon called his 'danger magnet' for very good reasons, had gotten herself into a situation where her safety could be at risk. There was only one person on this planet he trusted to keep his sister safe and it wasn't Bonnie Bennett. So, he had contacted a friend who had a friend who could trace Elena's call. It was only a general location, but it was a start.

"Australia, Jeremy, are you sure?"

As much as Damon tried to keep it out of his voice, there was no disguising his exhaustion lying just beneath the glimmer of hope Jeremy had just given him. He felt like they had been looking for Elena for weeks. He was losing track of how many days it had actually been. Three? Four? Ten? He just wasn't sure anymore. He had been discouraged, checking his phone throughout their long flight to Hong Kong and still hadn't received anything from Elijah. They were at dead end until he heard from the Original, unless he compelled his way into another airport security office. That was before - before a single word, nine letters, 'Australia' had given him more hope than he had had since he realized Elena was gone.

"I'm sure, Damon. I talked to her." Jeremy could almost hear Damon processing that and rushed ahead. "She didn't tell me where she is. She wouldn't tell me anything really. Just that she is with Bonnie and she's 'fine.'"

Damon heard the air quotes around the word 'fine' and came to the same conclusion that Jeremy had.

"Oh God, what has she gotten herself into?" Damon muttered to himself. "Jeremy, I need you to be a little more specific, where in Australia? In case you haven't notice, it's a pretty damn big country."

"My guy is good, but he needs more time to pin it down. I'll text you the number, I think it's Bonnie's phone. Maybe Elijah will have better luck." Jeremy paused, sighing, "She is going to be so pissed at me, Damon. I told her I wouldn't say anything to you."

"She'll get over it. When has she not forgiven you for something? Besides, who else is going to pull her ass out of whatever fire she's jumped in. Listen, send me that number and let me know if you hear from her again."

Damon ended the call and walked quickly to catch up with Stefan and Caroline, a little more bounce in his step. They needed to get on the first flight out to Australia.

* * *

Elena and Bonnie were eating at a small diner, just on the edge of nowhere. They still had about two hours of driving time, but with the lunar eclipse not making its appearance for another eight hours, they had a little time to kill.

While Elena went in to get them a table, Bonnie quickly sent Jeremy a text with their destination coordinates. She silenced her phone before sliding it into her purse, just in case Jeremy sent her a reply.

The long drive and now spending time in the dinner was wearing on Bonnie's nerves. She had been trying to keep up a steady stream of small talk. The last thing she needed to do at this point was to let slip that she was helping Damon find them.

Bonnie gave up all attempts at conversation when she realized that Elena's attention was focused elsewhere. They ate in silence, neither really tasting their food. Every mile they had traveled had made what was to happen seem more real, weighed on them more. Without words, they stood at the same time, ready to return to the road. Bonnie tossed some cash on the table and followed Elena to the car. While Elena was anxious to reach their destination and get it all over with, Bonnie desperately wished she could turn the car back toward Sydney to catch the first flight back to the States.

By the time she heard the words 'you have reached your destination,' Bonnie would have happily thrown the GPS unit out the window of the car had it been a separate device. The monotone voice had been a constant over the past hour, leading them through so many twists and turns that Bonnie thought someone was pranking them.

She steered the car into the driveway, shocked at the massive house before them. For some reason, she had been expecting to see an abandoned shack or even an open area with a fire pit and an altar.

"Looks like this is it, Elena. Ready?"

Elena stared straight ahead at the four people, two women, two men, who had walked out to greet them. She squared her shoulders, lifted her chin and gave a quick nod before opening the car door. Bonnie quickly followed, grabbing Elena's hand as she came around the car. Together they walked toward the quartet of witches having reach the point of no return.

* * *

In the hours after their arrival, two witches walked Elena through the spell and what she would need to do, which was nothing but lie in the designated spot and remain calm. She had made her payment, a pint of her doppelganger blood, of course. She would normally fight letting anyone tap one her veins, but she was more than willing to make an exception in this case, especially since it would be the last time ever.

She finally sat down and wrote a letter to Damon, explaining what she was doing and why. She begged him to forgive her if it went wrong, if she didn't return, if the worst happened and she died. The witches had reminded her repeatedly that death was a possibility. Bonnie flinched every time it was mentioned, but said nothing to dissuade Elena. Bonnie promised she would give the letter to Damon, if necessary. If everything went according to plan, she promised to burn it.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, it was time. Bonnie held Elena's had as they walked into the large glass solarium at the back of the house. There they found a circle drawn on the floor, the four witches standing within it. Two witches stood at each of the four corners of the room, bringing the total to twelve. Bonnie was present as Elena's friend and would not be participating in the spell.

Elena gave her best friend a hug before making her way to the center of the circle. She lay down, her arms crossed over her abdomen, eyes closed. She began to breathe deeply, as she had been instructed. This spell was very precise and required her complete relaxation. Any nerves she had could send out negative energy and affect the spell. As she breathed, she tuned out everything around her, including the four witches taking their places around her, the two men at her head and feet, the two women at her sides.

When Elena entered a trance-like state, aided by a potion slipped in her water bottle earlier in the evening, the witches began to chant the spell.

Ut iudicio contendam adversum vos praeterita redire abegisse

Praeterita revertamur ad extensum ut corrigamini

Revertere ad completum olim animam tuam

Revertere ad praesens non paenitet

Revertere nunc ad bene vivendum

Revertere ad hoc dilectio

After the third recitation, a bright light seemed to come from each of the four witches. The four lights coalesced as one directly over Elena and entered her chest. The witches continued to chant until the glow emanating from Elena dimmed and was finally extinguished.

The witch at Elena's head turned toward Bonnie and spoke. "It is finished. She is gone. All we can do now is wait."

* * *

Somewhere between Hong Kong and Sydney, Damon felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He felt his anxiety ratchet up one hundred percent when he saw he had received a text from Jeremy. After reading it, he limited himself to a whispered 'yes' and a fist pump before turning the screen for Stefan to read. The younger Salvatore's eyes lit up when he realized what he was reading – a series of numbers in the form of GPS coordinates.

* * *

_A/N - Thanks for reading! Hopefully, Elena's actions are beginning to make a little more sense. _

_I used Google Translate for the spell. Unsurprisingly, I'm a little disappointed with the translation. If you would like my original text for the spell, please PM me. I'll be happy to share it with you. _

_Reviews are wonderful and keep the muse happy! ~ craftyjhawk_


	7. I Am Yours

"Wake up, sleepy head. It's not every day that you turn twenty-four." Damon nuzzled Elena's neck, lightly kissing his way to the spot behind her ear that was sure to make her squirm.

"Mmmm, morning." Elena raised her arms over her head, stretching, arching her back, pressing herself against the hard planes of Damon's chest. It seemed like ages since she had been this close to him. "I've missed you."

Damon pulled back just enough to catch Elena's gaze, his head cocked to the side.

"What are you talking about, 'Lena? I've been right here."

In an instant, reality crashed in on Elena as Damon's earlier words registered in her brain. The witches' spell had worked. Elena had traveled back in time more than fifteen years. She had three days to erase the biggest regret of her life. It wasn't much time, but she would make sure that it was enough.

Elena threaded her fingers through Damon's jet black hair, gently pulling his lips toward hers.

"But, I haven't actually seen you in, what, seven or eight hours." Moving the last fraction of an inch that separated them, Elena kissed him with all of the love she had been clinging to since she had left him days earlier.

"Well, by all means, show me just how much you missed me." He did that eye-thing that always made her heart speed up.

"I'd love to, but I have things to do." She gave him a quick peck on the lips as she moved to get out of the bed, only to be stopped when his hand wrapped around her wrist, tugging her back into the cocoon of his arms.

"Nope. You are going to stay right here and wait for me to bring you breakfast. It's your birthday and I get to spoil you as much as I want."

He settled her in the bed, propped against a mound of pillows, blankets neatly folded across her lap.

"Now," he pointed at her, "you stay right there and I will be back before you have time to miss me."

Elena stretched again relaxing deeper into the mound of pillows. She looked around the bedroom, noticing that it looked more like his and less like theirs. It had been years before she had felt comfortable enough to start adding her touches to the room. She remembered the day she threatened to hang the horse painting from her bedroom in this room. She had tried to keep a straight face, but one glance at the disgusted look on Damon's face sent her into hysterics. Twenty years later, she would still threaten to hang that painting somewhere in the house just to get a reaction from him. Twenty years later, he still fell for it.

"Breakfast is served, birthday girl. Enjoy."

Elena's eyes nearly bugged out of her head when Damon set the tray across her lap. It was nearly overflowing with pancakes, fresh fruit, sausage and bacon and mimosas. Patting the bed, insisting that he share with her, Elena dug in without waiting for a response, giving him a silly grin as he raced to keep pace with her.

* * *

Elena had fully intended to jump right into the reason she had made her journey through time, but she couldn't help herself. She had to indulge in one day of just being with Damon after too many days apart.

While Damon cleaned up the kitchen after their birthday breakfast extravaganza, Elena showered and dressed before making her way downstairs. When she and Damon had first gotten together, he had started hiding gifts for her in plain sight. She would walk in a room and there would be a wrapped gift casually abandoned on a side table, atop a stack of books, resting in her chair. He took this habit to the extreme on her birthday, leaving a gift in almost any room she might enter during the day.

Today, her twenty-fourth birthday, was no different. She walked into the parlor and felt her lungs constrict when she caught a glimpse of chocolate colored silk ribbon peeking just above the arm of the sofa. She recognized the ribbon, knew without looking that it would be delicately tied around the finest linen paper that was rolled as if an ancient scroll. These were the gifts she treasured the most, Damon's words to her, written in his beautifully elegant script. He usually saved these gifts for late at night, tucked between the sheets of their bed.

Leaving that particular gift for her to find so early in the day had to mean something. Instead of delving into the whats and whys with her emotions already so close to the surface, she walked past the side table where the gift lay, ghosting her finger across the ribbon as she walked toward the kitchen in search of Damon.

* * *

She had expected Damon, with the help of a coercive Caroline, to throw her a huge birthday bash, a house full of friends, alcohol and dancing. Instead he had planned an intimate dinner for four, the two of them plus Stefan and Caroline. Candlelight, good wine, good food, her best friends, she couldn't have asked for any more. She watched the other three as they laughed about an event she had long forgotten and realized that she had missed this. She missed the simplicity of youth, of doing what she wanted when she wanted, of being bound by nothing but her love for this one man. She missed living in the day. She missed living in one place, before the days of moving through their rotation of home bases – the Salvatore estate in Florence, a row house in San Francisco, a loft in Tribeca, a condo in Austin and back to the boarding house in Mystic Falls.

A part of her desperately wanted to stay here, in this time, to live these years again, with the knowledge of having lived through them already. As far as she knew, though, there was nothing that she could do in the past that would result in her staying there. Another thought gave her pause. She had not specifically asked if she would be able to keep her memories once she changed the past. She hadn't even considered the possibility that her memories would be lost to her. The thought was crushing and for the first time since making this decision, she wondered if she had make a mistake.

* * *

Long after Stefan and Caroline had gone home, after the fire had died down to glowing embers, Elena eased herself out of Damon's arms and off the sofa where they had fallen asleep. She wanted to take her last unopened gift, the linen paper scroll tied with a chocolate silk ribbon, to their bedroom to read alone.

_My Elena,_

_Yes, you are my Elena, for as long as you will have me and beyond. Whether I have you for a human lifespan or a vampire's eternity, you are mine. Whether you are a Gilbert or a Salvatore, you are mine._

_Being loved by you has made my life complete. Loving you, cherishing you, protecting you, being yours has given my life meaning._

_Thank you, my love, for allowing me the privilege of loving you and sharing your life._

_Happy Birthday, my Elena,_

_I love you,_

_D_

Elena wiped the tears from her cheeks as she finished reading Damon's letter, just as he entered their bedroom.

"Damon, I know I don't usually do this, but there is one more thing I'd like for my birthday."

"Yeah, what is it, baby?" Damon spread out on the bed next to her, surprised. She was right, she never actually asked him for anything.

"I've thought about this for a long time." If only he knew just how long. "I want you to know I am certain that this is what I want." She took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. "Damon, I want you to turn me."

* * *

Before they had even landed in Sydney, Damon had booked a rental car and Google mapped the coordinates, thanks to Caroline's iPad and an airplane with onboard wifi. Sitting in first class definitely had its advantages, like being the first passengers off the plane. The three vampires ran down the jetway and through the terminal, fighting the urge to vamp speed all the way to the rental car kiosk.

* * *

_A/N - Finally! Damon has almost caught up to Elena. The next chapter will find Damon and Elena together in both the past and the present. It's been a long time coming. Thanks again for reading and reviewing! ~ craftyjhawk_


	8. My Undying Death Defying Love For You

Damon didn't wait for the car to come to a complete stop before he jumped out, ran to the front door and began banging on it.

"Bonnie! I know you are in there! Open this damn door! Now!"

Damon continued to beat on the door until it swung open, away from his fist. Bonnie stood in the doorway next to an extremely tall man. The only thing preventing Damon from charging into the house was an invitation to enter, but that didn't stop him from trying. He hit the invisible barrier so hard, he rebounded backwards, bumping into Stefan and Caroline standing just behind him.

"Where is she Bonnie? I need to see her now! Let me in!"

"Damon, calm down. William will be happy to invite you in, but you need to calm down first. He won't let you in if he feels you are a threat. Trust me, Damon, we all want the same thing here."

Damon nodded at Bonnie as he worked to reign in his anxiety and anger. Being so close to Elena, closer than he had been in days, and not being able to get to her was torture. He stilled, listening to the sounds within the house. In the distance, he heard her heartbeat, steady and even, reassuring.

Bonnie nodded at William who invited all three vampires to enter the house. As soon as they had crossed the threshold, Bonnie began explaining the situation. Damon tuned her out and turned to William.

"Where is she?"

William took pity on the vampire and pointed down a hallway to his right. Before William could tell him exactly where Elena was, Damon had already sped down the hall, pausing about halfway to listen for her heartbeat. It took him a split second to determine she was behind the next door on the left. Damon stepped to the door, tightly gripped the knob, and hesitated before turning it. After the long search to find Elena, he was suddenly nervous. He had no idea what to expect when he saw her. Telling himself to get his shit together, he twisted the knob and pushed the door open.

Whatever he had been expecting, it wasn't what he found. Elena was lying on a bed, flat on her back, covered up to her shoulders by a thick comforter. She appeared to be sleeping, but she was too still, only her chest moving as she breathed. Damon knew what Elena looked like asleep, her limbs tangled with his, head resting on his chest, the occasional twitch that just made her even more adorable. It was the unnatural stillness that frightened Damon.

"Elena, what the hell did you do?"

* * *

Damon gaped at her, momentarily speechless.

"What did you say?"

Surely, he had heard her wrong. Elena had always insisted that she did **not** want to be vampire.

"I said I want you to turn me."

"What's going on, Elena? You have never wanted to be a vampire. What changed your mind?"

He sat up, needing to be able to look her in the eye, to see into her soul. It was everything he wanted, the chance to spend eternity with her. There was just no way he could let this happen unless he was sure it was what she really wanted.

"It's not that anything changed my mind, Damon. It just finally made up my mind. I've been thinking about this for a very long time, even before we were together."

"You mean when you were with Stefan."

"Yes, but I never wanted this with him. Never."

He could see the truth behind her words. He could feel it in her touch as she caressed his cheek.

"I know that. I thought you felt the same way about me." He looked down at his hands in his lap, unable to hold her gaze after revealing that bit of insecurity.

"Damon, look at me." She nudged his head up with a finger under his chin. "I never wanted forever with Stefan. I never felt for him what I feel for you. I want forever with you, Damon."

"Why now, Elena?"

"First, you need to know, I really have been thinking about this for a long time, for as long as we've been together." She grabbed his hand, twining their fingers together, needing a physical connection. "Why now? Two reasons. I always thought the choice would be taken out of my hands, one way or another, that I would be dead or a vampire by now. Too many times either of those could have happened. Because of that, I didn't make a choice. It was easier. It was cowardly."

"Okay, I can understand that, but you still haven't answered the question. Why now?"

"I don't want any regrets, Damon. If I don't do this, I will regret it. Trust me, I know I will." She knew all too well how much she would regret it. She couldn't let it happen (or rather, not happen) again.

* * *

Bonnie, Stefan, Caroline and the four witches who performed the spell sat in a circle on the solarium floor. Bonnie had briefly told Stefan and Caroline about Elena's journey to the past before rushing them into the glass-walled room.

"We have to do this now, before she gets a chance to change anything important in the past."

Bonnie went on to explain what was about to happen. After she and Elena had arrived, Bonnie had asked if it was possible to put a spell on Damon so that he would remember the past even after Elena made changes. She didn't want to Elena to have those memories alone. What William had proposed was a little farther reaching. The Australian witches could place a spell, like a dome, over the house that would enable everyone inside to retain their memories. It seemed to be a better solution, for all of them to remember. She regretted that Jeremy would forget, but there was not enough time to get him to Australia. Bonnie felt lucky that Elena hadn't made any major changes in the past while she was waiting for the trio of vamps to arrive.

Once Bonnie had explained the spell, William and the other witches immediately began to perform it. The lit candles that outlined their circle flickered a few times before extinguishing. The spell was complete.

* * *

Elena woke before Damon the next morning. They had gone to sleep having agreed on nothing. He obviously doubted that she truly wanted what she had asked for. She couldn't think of anything else to say to convince him otherwise. In the early morning light, she chewed on her lower lip while she watched him sleep and struggled with her thoughts. One of her three days in the past had elapsed. Time was slipping by so fast and she worried that she would return to her time as a human. Leaving Damon, traveling to the past would have been for nothing.

As if sensing her staring at him, Damon began to stir. He opened his eyes to find Elena staring intently at him.

"Hi."

"Hi, back." He reached out and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. He picked up where they had left off the night before. "I need to know, are you sure about this? No regrets?"

"Damon, I am as sure about turning as I am about loving you. That's how much I want this."

"Alright. I'm on board. I just don't know if I can do it. I don't think I can be the one to…"

A wave of shock passed over Elena. He had agreed after being so resistant the night before. Her shock was followed by relief. She would be returning to her time as a vampire who had turned at the age of twenty-four. She would be correcting her biggest mistake, her biggest regret.

"I understand. I wouldn't want to be the one to, you know, kill you either. What if it's your blood, but Caroline is the one who actually does it? Would you trust her with that?"

"I do if you do." Without realizing what he was doing, he began to play with her hair, running it through his fingers, trying to distance himself from the thought of her dying. "When do you want to do it? We probably need some time to plan."

"How about tonight? I don't want to wait any longer. Our forever starts tonight."

* * *

_A/N - They are together - in the past and the present! It's about time, right?_

_Thanks so much for every favorite, follow and review! They mean more to me than you could possible know. Don't forget: reviews feed the muse! Follow me on Twitter, fangirlingblog, for update notifications and sneak peeks at future chapters. Thanks again ~ craftyjhawk_


	9. Come Home, Come Home

"'Lena! We're here! What was so-"

Caroline's yelling was cut off by Elena bounding down the stairs and almost into the blonde.

"Elena, what was so important? Couldn't this have waited? We were going to meet at the coffee shop in a few hours."

"Change of plans, Care, change of plans." Elena took Caroline's hand and led her toward the kitchen. "C'mon. We need to talk."

Stefan stared at the girls as they walked away, wondering what was going on. He didn't have to wait long to find out, as Damon made his decent down the stairs at that moment.

"Brother, we've got some planning to do." Damon walked into the parlor, motioning for Stefan to follow.

"Planning? Planning what?" Stefan's browed furrowed as the thought. "Wait, are you and Elena-"

"Nope, whatever you are thinking, the answer is no. I promise, you won't see this coming." Damon poured Stefan a generous amount of bourbon, handed him the tumbler before continuing. "You're gonna need that. Elena has decided she wants to turn."

* * *

Damon sat at Elena's bedside, where he had been since their arrival. He kept her hand in his own, rubbing his thumb lightly across her silky soft skin. With his other hand, he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear before he leaned down to whisper to her.

"Come back to me, 'Lena. I'm waiting for you. I'm not going anywhere."

Caroline had been in with a blood bag or two, which Damon had absently sucked down. She had taken the time to brush Elena's hair, wash her face, removing the makeup she had applied before she and Bonnie left Sydney. Caroline chattered to her friend, telling her all about the trip from Mystic Falls, their search for her. She only stopped talking when, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Damon tense, squeeze Elena's hand a little tighter. Caroline knew that on a good day Damon could only handle so much 'Caroline time.' This was not a good day and clearly it was time to give him some space. After a kiss to Elena's forehead and a pat on Damon's back, she left him alone with the love of his life.

Stefan came in to explain what had happened, what Elena had done, but stopped when he realized Damon wasn't listening. Instead, he sat in a chair on the far side of the room, keeping an eye on his brother, trying to anticipate his needs. He wasn't sure how any of them would survive if Elena didn't, but for his brother, that feeling was very literal. Stefan could easily imagine that Damon would take off his daylight ring in the bright light of day if faced with living without Elena. In the early years, Stefan didn't truly believe that Damon and Elena belonged together. Time had shown him just how much they needed each other, how one could not exist without the other.

As the world continued to move around him, Damon had no idea how much time had passed. According to Bonnie, Elena had been unconscious for about thirty-six hours, give or take a few either way. They would probably have to wait that long to know whether or not she had survived. He had waited one hundred forty-five years for Katherine and he didn't even love the bitch. He could wait thirty-six hours, days, months or years to get Elena back.

What he couldn't do was sit in that bedside chair for another second. The distance, no matter how short it might be, between him and Elena was too great. After pulling off his boots and tossing his leather jacket across the chair, he eased himself into the bed, sliding his arm around Elena, pulling her into him. His sole focus was Elena, counting each breath, each heartbeat, looking for the slightest change. He slipped into a trance-like state, willing her to come back to him.

* * *

Caroline squealed, then hugged Elena so tightly that Elena thought she would crack a rib. Her initial excitement was short-lived, though. It was quickly followed by a Caroline inquisition, full of 'what about' and 'have you thought of.' Only after she was convinced that Elena was making an informed decision, did she turn to her other burning question.

"What did Damon say?"

"He didn't believe me either, not at first. But, he does now."

Leaning against the kitchen counter, Elena fiddled with a dish cloth, folding it and unfolding it over and over again. She had recklessly volunteered Caroline to do the deed, but when it came down to it, she wasn't sure that her friend would be able to do it any more than Damon could.

"The thing is, Caroline, Damon says he can't be the one to do it, to kill me. We want it to be his blood that turns me, but…"

"That makes sense. He loves you so much, Elena. He's always protected you above everyone else. Killing you goes against his very being, even if you will be coming back. You understand that, right?"

"Of course I do, Care! That's why I was wondering if, maybe, you might consider, possibly being the one who does it."

Caroline's eyes were huge as she considered Elena's request. Damon couldn't do it. She seriously doubted Stefan would be able to. There was too much history between them, too much love still between them. That really left only one option.

"I'll do it. What if I-"

"Nope. Don't say it. I don't want to hear it."

Elena went so far as to put her fingers in her ears and hum to drown out Caroline's words. When she saw that Caroline had stopped talking, she pulled her fingers from her ears.

"I don't want to know what's going to happen. I know that sounds silly, considering this is my choice. I just don't want to spend my last day as a human knowing how I am going to die. I'm going to go out. I have some things I want to do today, calls to make, people to see. I'll be home sometime later. I want everyone to act normal, no fussing over me, no warning that it's coming."

Elena pushed away from the counter, pausing just long enough to give her friend a hug before walking out of the kitchen. As she reached the doorway, she looked back over her shoulder at one of her oldest, dearest friends.

"Just make sure you get it right the first time, okay, Care?" With a wink, she was gone.

* * *

Elena's first stop was the cemetery. It was the conversation she dread the most, even though she would be talking granite headstones not flesh and blood people.

"Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. I know, it's been a while. I'm sorry. I don't have an excuse. I've just been living my life. I'd like to think you'd be okay with that, even if you wouldn't like who I'm living it with. I know you feared and probably even hunted vampires, but Damon is a good man. He may not seem like it on the surface, but he really is, especially to me. Anything he has ever done, to or for me, good or bad, has been done out of love. And, because I love him so much, I've decided that I'm going to turn. I'm going to become a vampire. One lifetime with him is just not enough. I know I'm probably disappointing you and I'm sorry for that. But, I'm not sorry for loving Damon or for making this decision."

She pushed herself up off the grass, brushing any loose blades off the seat of her jeans. Putting two fingers to her lips, she kissed them and laid them on her parents' headstone.

"I love you and miss you more than you could ever possibly know. I'll be back soon."

With a final look at their engraved names, Elena turned away and walked back to her car, wiping tears from her cheeks along the way.

* * *

When she finally returned to the boarding house hours later, Elena had talked to everyone that she felt she needed to. She had called Jeremy at college, Rhode Island School of Design. She laughed at his one word reaction.

"Finally."

He had assumed, like Elena, that this was inevitable. Now, instead of wondering when, it was a matter of moving forward.

Matt wasn't happy but, on some level, seemed to understand. That was all she could ask for. She knew being the lone, ordinary human in the group would be difficult for him. Hopefully, he wouldn't let that chase him away. In her present, Matt was still part of her life, but she knew that could change. Everything in her life, as she knew it, could change.

She put off calling Bonnie until last. The Bonnie that she remembered from this time was still judgmental, hadn't accepted Damon's place in Elena's life. That Bonnie didn't disappoint Elena in her reaction. If anything, she went above and beyond what Elena had expected. She spewed a few vicious comments about Damon to Elena and ended their friendship. Elena worried that when she returned to her time Bonnie would be as disapproving as this younger version of her was.

As Elena walked into the boarding house, she tried to leave all of those reactions behind her. None of them could change her mind, so there was no point in dwelling on them. She was determined to enjoy the evening, enjoy her last moments as a human, instead of wondering what would happen next and when.

* * *

Damon startled awake. He hadn't intended to fall asleep, but exhaustion caught up with him. He listened, hoping to hear a change in her breathing, in her heart rate. But, as had been the case since he, Stefan and Caroline had arrived, there was no change. He busied himself straightening her blankets, smoothing her hair, rubbing some lip balm on her dry lips before speaking.

"I love you, baby, and I need you to come home. Please, 'Lena, come back to me. Don't leave me."

When the three vampires had stormed into the house two days earlier, Bonnie had tried to explain what Elena had done. At the time, those details didn't matter to Damon. All he cared about was getting to Elena. As soon as William had pointed him in the right direction, he took off, leaving Stefan and Caroline to get the complete story. Maybe, he thought, it was time to find out exactly what had happened. He would ask Stefan the next time he stopped by to see Elena.

Damon absently brushed the back of his knuckles against Elena's cheek while he thought and waited. His focus wandered, but came screaming back when he heard it.

Silence.

Elena's heart had stopped.

"Elena!" he heard a voice scream, not realizing it was his. He shook her, trying to get her to wake up. She remained still, no movement in her chest where her lungs should be expanding with every breath. No blood rushing through her heart, pumping to the rest of her body. His blood would be of no help to her, but that didn't stop him from trying to give it to her. He ripped his wrist open with his fangs and opened her mouth, letting his blood dribble in. He hoped she would swallow, but his blood just collected in her mouth, doing nothing to heal her.

"Elena, you can't do this to me! You have to come back!"

His screams brought Stefan and Caroline at vamp speed. Damon looked up as they rushed in, tears spilling from his ice blue eyes.

"She's gone, Stefan. Elena is gone."

Damon collapsed on Elena's bed, his shoulders shaking as he grieved the only woman he had ever truly loved.

* * *

_A/N - Thanks so much for reading! Dramatic cliffhanger, I know, but I'll try not to keep you waiting too long for the next update. Follow me on twitter, fangirlingblog, for sneak peaks of future chapters. Thanks for all of the follows, favorites and reviews. ~ craftyjhawk_


	10. I'm Making My Way Home Again

Bonnie ran down the hall, skidding to a stop behind Stefan and Caroline. Caroline was in Stefan's arms, sobbing into his chest. Looking around them, she could see Damon holding Elena. She had never seen him look so broken, not even when they opened the tomb and found Katherine hadn't been there all along. He gently rocked Elena, whispering in her ear, stoking her hair all while tears streamed down his cheeks.

"Caroline?" Bonnie tried to get her friend's attention. She put her hand on Caroline's shoulder, trying to get her to turn toward her. "Caroline, what's going on?"

"E-Elena, she's dead! Her heart stopped. Bonnie, she's gone!" Caroline burrowed into Stefan's neck, unable to say any more.

At that moment, Bonnie realized what had happened. It was a misunderstanding that she needed to fix immediately. She pushed her way past the couple in the doorway and slowly made her way to the bed to stand behind Damon. She didn't want to startle him. If he truly believed that Elena was dead, she could easily guess how quickly he would release his inner demon against the person whom he felt was responsible – her.

"Damon. Damon, you need to listen to me."

He tuned her out, focusing on Elena, waiting to a sign that he was wrong, that she hadn't just died in his arms.

"Damon, you really need to hear this."

Still he showed no sign of listening to her, as continued to whisper to his love.

"Damon! She's not dead!"

Damon's head popped up as he turned his ice blue eyes on Bonnie, the intensity causing her to stumble backwards.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Sabrina." His tone changed from challenging to hopeless. "I heard her heart stop. It happened so fast. I couldn't do anything. I tried giving her my blood, but she was already gone."

Bonnie shook her head. She should have known.

"Haven't you heard anything I've told you since you got here? Damon, Elena isn't dead!"

Behind her, she heard Caroline gasp. The blonde vampire ran over to the bed, so excited that she couldn't stand still.

"Damon, Bonnie is right! Elena isn't dead! Well, she's not dead-dead. She'll be back."

"Damon, did you pay attention to anything I told you about the spell?" When he shook his head, Bonnie continued. "The spell sent Elena back in time about fifteen years. She said she wanted to fix her biggest mistake. She wanted you to turn her."

Damon's mouth gaped open. He had long accepted that Elena didn't want to be a vampire. His thoughts went in a thousand different directions until finally he could focus on one.

"I would have turned her now, ten years ago or ten years from now. It was always her choice. She didn't have to do **this**."

"Damon, this," Bonnie held her hands out, trying to encompass everything around them, "this **was** her choice. You need to respect that. All we can do now is wait for her to come back to us."

Bonnie gave raven haired vampire a pat on the back before leaving the room. She needed to speak to William or one of the other witches. She hoped that she hadn't just lied to Damon. She hoped that she was right about Elena returning to them.

* * *

The instant he saw Elena's eyes start to flutter, Damon was sitting on their bed, next to her, blood bag nearby. All at once, she gasped and sat straight up in the bed, a frantic look on her face.

"Elena, look at me." Gently turning her face toward him, Damon tried to calm her before she launched into a complete panic. "Hey, look at me. You're fine."

Her breathing slowed and the frantic look seeped away. She nodded, letting Damon know she was okay.

"It worked? It worked!" Elena threw her arms around Damon's neck, relieved to be 'alive' again.

"Yeah, baby, it worked." He pulled back just enough to look into her eyes. "How do you feel?"

"Strange. Everything is so loud, my head hearts. I'm hungry." She looked around, taking in the darkness of the room. "What time is it? I can't tell if it's light or dark out with the curtains drawn."

"Trust me, you do not want them open. It's almost noon, very bright out. You were gone for a long time." His eyes took on a haunted look. "Too long. I wasn't sure you were coming back."

"Hey," she laid her hand lovingly on his cheek, "I'm here. I was just taking my time, right?" She smiled, hoping that he would return it. "How about we get that" she pointed at the blood bag "over with."

"Yeah, here you go."

Damon handed her the open blood bag, watching her closely as she took her first sip of human blood. His eyes lit up as her new nature, her vampire nature, made itself evident on her face. Black veins laced themselves under her eyes, across her cheekbones. To Damon, she had never looked more beautiful. He held her hand as he saw pain take over when her fangs broke through for the first time. His smile was huge as he let his own vampire nature take over, candlelight reflecting off his fangs.

"You did it, baby. Welcome to the club."

Elena stared straight ahead, trying to absorb everything that had happened. Before she could form a thought, before she could say a word, before she could look in his gorgeous blue eyes, Elena's world went black and she collapsed on the bed.

* * *

Bonnie returned to the bedroom feeling no more confident that she had when she left. William agreed that Elena's apparent 'death' could be a result of her turning in the past, but the spell had never been used under these circumstances. All they could do was wait to see if Elena returned by the end of the three days.

As the hours passed, Elena's four friends maintained their vigil. Positions would change as an unspoken rotation seemed to evolve with one exception. Damon never left his place at Elena's side, holding her while, in his mind, she slept. Given the slightest flicker of hope, he refused to believe she was dead.

Across the room, Damon could hear Stefan and Caroline whispering. If he had wanted to, he could have picked up more than snatches of the conversation. If he had been paying attention, he would have questioned each _do you remember_ and _how about when we_… He didn't, though, because that would have pulled his focus away from Elena. He would have missed the twitch that he was sure he had imagined. The twitch that slowly became the flexing of a finger. The flex that morphed into clinching of a fist. The clinch that grew into an arm stretch. The stretch that ended with Elena bolting up and out of Damon's arms as she gasped for air.

* * *

_A/N - And there you have it, Damon and Elena in the same time and space. This story isn't over yet. I haven't finished writing them yet, but I think there are probably two or three chapters left. Thanks so much for all of the favorites, follows and reviews! Each and every one truly make my day. Follow me on twitter - fangirlingblog. Thanks again! ~ craftyjhawk_


	11. I Can Feel You Flowing in Me

"So, what do you remember?"

Damon stepped in front of Elena, halting their stroll around the witches' property. He looked down at their joined hands, her left, his right, fingers intertwined, the platinum band of her ring glinting in the sun. Not for the first time in the past few hours, he was glad he'd had the foresight to have her ring spelled as a daylight ring.

Getting out of the house, away from everyone else to talk was just what they needed. Before she had a chance to answer, he took advantage of an opportunity that he hadn't had in far too long, he bent down to kiss her, chuckling a little when he felt her free hand fist his shirt and pull him in closer. Breathless, she pulled away, taking a step back, needing a little distance to think straight.

"I remember a lot, too much even. I have all of the memories that, logically, I know didn't happen. Except that they did. It's very strange, having two complete sets of memories." She shook her head, still trying to clear the cobwebs of 'time travel' and dying. "I guess I expected to forget everything from before. I didn't exactly ask a lot of questions when I started this whole thing."

They had already been through the whys and even though he would never agree with the decision she had made, he had agreed to let it go. She had returned to him. She was fine. He couldn't ask for more than that.

"What do you remember about the night you turned?"

"I remember when I got back to the boarding house you had dinner ready for us. It was everything I could do not to constantly look over my shoulder for Caroline sneaking up behind me. I know I said I didn't know how or when it would happen, but for a while, that felt like a huge mistake. At one point I was ready to just get it over with."

"At least you knew you would be coming back, right?"

"True, but spending a whole evening wondering if this was it, that was torture." She tugged his hand, wanting to keep moving while they talked about that last night. It still made her anxious in ways she couldn't explain or understand. "Now that it's done, are you going to tell me how you guys did it? My guess is the wine, either poison or sleeping pills in the wine."

"You're close. I was so worried about something going wrong. I made sure you had more than enough of my blood in your system. So much, in fact, that I was worried it would heal you rather than letting the poison or the drugs do their job. We decided it would be better just to knock you out. Some crushed sleeping pills in your wine glass did the trick. You had barely finished it before you were out cold. While I held you, Caroline came in and…"

"Caroline came in and snapped my neck?"

Damon just nodded. He still didn't want to think about it, much less say the words.

"Can we, uh, change the subject? I'm realizing that I've waited for you to come back twice, then and now. Not really a happy memory, memories for me."

They walked on in silence, while Elena worked up to what she really needed to tell him. He deserved to know the real reason she had gone back.

"I know everyone thinks I did this just so I wouldn't look older than you when I turned. That was part of it, initially."

Damon held his hand up to stop her.

"Elena, you have to know that didn't matter to me, right?" he continued after seeing her nod. "Honestly, you never looked your age anyway. Did you still look like the seventeen year old girl that I met in the middle of the road? No. But, you've lived well. You've taken care of yourself. You've had a happy, relatively stress-free life. Really, other than a few missing laugh lines and gray hairs, you really don't look any different to me."

Elena laughed. "Well, then I guess it's a good thing that wasn't the biggest reason, huh?"

Looking ahead, she saw a huge tree, sitting by itself in a grassy area. She led Damon to it, plopping on the ground in the shade and patting the grass next to her, inviting him to sit.

Once they had settled in, Elena started talking, telling him about her biggest regret.

"I realized that by not choosing, I really had made a choice. It wasn't even the choice that I wanted. I was willing to let it happen whenever it happened. Damon, that was so unfair to you. I'm so sorry. I hope you know that you are first in my heart. I would never put anything or anyone ahead of you, not even my own life."

"Yes, I'm aware." Damon smirked.

Elena grimaced, remembering all of the times she had been more than willing to sacrifice herself in order to save everyone, anyone that she loved. So many of those times, almost all of them, Damon had saved her from herself and every big bad she had faced.

"I thought that I had completely committed to you, but I was wrong. I held that little piece of myself back. You should have known that I was willing to turn, not for you, but to be with you. Forever. For eternity. For our eternity. That's all I've ever wanted."

Elena swore that his ice blue eyes were tearing up as he took her hands in his own. His thumb rubbed over her ring, her daylight ring, her Salvatore ring, the ring that would hopefully mean even more.

"You know, Elena, you aren't the only one guilty of just letting things be. I was so worried about pushing you into something that you didn't want, I ignored what I really wanted. I assumed that if you wanted to turn, you would come to me. You did, really, in your own way. But, that's not what I'm talking about. There has always been something that I've wanted even more."

With one hand, he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear before caressing her cheek. He needed her complete attention for what he was about to say.

"Elena, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. I can't imagine spending my life without you. While I was sitting there, waiting for you to come back, I kept thinking one thing. I had missed my chance. I promised myself that if you came back, I wouldn't let it slip by again."

Her lips began to tremble as a tear escaped, tracing a path down her cheek.

"This ring says you are a Salvatore and in my heart you already are. I want you to know, the whole world to know, that you are mine, always. I don't want you to ever to doubt that. So, Elena, will you marry me?"

By the time he had finished speaking, Elena's single tear had multiplied to two streams flowing down her face. Rendered speechless, she simply nodded repeatedly as she threw herself into Damon's arms.

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes, Damon, yes, yes, yes! I will marry you!" She pulled back enough to look into his eyes. "I will marry you anytime, anywhere. I will marry you right this second, just say the word."

Instead, he pulled in closer, capturing her lips with his own. Wedding plans could wait. They had a reunion and engagement to celebrate.

* * *

Two days later, at sunset, Damon and Elena stood in the center of the solarium, in the very spot she had lain during the spell. Surrounded by their family, Damon and Elena were married.

Unknown to them, the planning, with Caroline in charge, had begun as soon as they had left the house the day before. Jeremy had already decided to fly in to see his sister after her 'disappearance.' Stefan and the girls made the long drive to Sydney to pick up Jeremy and do a little shopping. When they returned to the witches' house, they not only had Jeremy, but a wedding dress for Elena and a suit for Damon. Damon's suit, a black Armani with a deep blue shirt underneath, had been tailored to his measurements thanks to a call to his tailor in Florence and a little compulsion in Sydney. The dress was a strapless white sheath that hugged Elena's curves, the only accent a silk sash at the waist that matched the blue of Damon's shirt.

After the ceremony, the six of them headed back to Sydney. Stefan, Caroline, Jeremy and Bonnie would be staying at the rental house with plans to spend a few days sightseeing in Sydney before going home. Elena and Damon drove straight to the airport to catch the first of several flights, eventually landing in Paris to begin their European honeymoon and continue their life together.

* * *

_A/N - There you have it the last chapter of The Past Shapes the Future. There will be an epilogue, so be on the look out for that. I can't thank you enough for all of the reviews, favorites and follows for this little fic. They've all meant the world to me. Thanks again ~ craftyjhawk_


	12. Epilogue

Fifty years later ~

"Are you sure you don't want to go over there? They wouldn't be happy, he wouldn't be happy if he knew you were over here by yourself."

"I'm not by myself. I have you." She smiled at him, her one constant, through her tears. "I told them we would meet them at the house later. I just want to say my own goodbye."

They stood under an old oak tree, Elena's head on Damon's shoulder, his head resting against hers, and watched as the casket was lowered into the ground. His arm around her shoulders brought her in closer, tighter, when a sob escaped her lips. No matter how many of their friends and family they had buried, it never got any easier and this was the toughest death of all.

After her high school and college years, where loss seemed to be an everyday occurrence, their life had calmed down, seemed more normal. So, when the call came a few years after she and Damon had married, Elena was completely blindsided. Matt Donovan was dead at the age of forty-four. He had been sheriff for a few years at that point. Tenderhearted Matt, one of the few humans in their group, the man who was determined to protect his own kind, had been shot in the line of duty. He was shot and killed by a human, a convenience store robbery suspect over one hundred twenty-three dollars and some change. The irony wasn't lost on anyone.

Bonnie had lived a long life, having married shortly after Damon and Elena. Her husband had been a widower with two small children when they met. Bonnie adopted his daughters and raised them like her own. Later in life, she confessed to Elena that she'd made the conscious decision not to have children. It was past time for the Bennett line to end, to break their connection to the vampires. The last thing she wanted was for her children to become involved in vampire problems, as her Grams would have said. Bonnie lived well into her seventies, leaving behind her husband, their daughters, several grandchildren and her two best friends who would mourn her for eternity.

Jeremy had returned to Mystic Falls after his retirement twenty years earlier. His children, two sons and a daughter, had grown up with Uncle Damon and Auntie Elena popping in whenever the mood struck. When they were old enough, they were told the family secret and sworn to secrecy as were their children after them. Once, shortly after she turned, Elena, knowing how he felt about vampires, asked Jeremy if he would prefer that she stay out of his life. He emphatically told her no, ending the discussion for all time.

Months earlier, Damon and Elena had hurried to Mystic Falls when Jeremy's Alzheimer's was diagnosed. They watched him deteriorate, heartbroken when he no longer recognized his wife and thought his daughter, Eleanor, was Miranda Gilbert, his mother . Even though tempted, Elena never tried to heal him with her blood, instead respecting what she knew would be his wishes. She sat at his bedside when he withdrew into himself, seemingly becoming a shell. She held his hand as he passed from this world, surrounded by his entire family.

Standing under the oak tree, they listened as the minister said a final prayer. They watched as Jeremy's family, her family, slowly walked away from his grave. They watched as the cemetery workers filled the gaping hole in the earth. Knowing it was time for her final goodbye to her little brother, Elena took a deep breath before walking to the mound of dirt that covered his casket. She looked over her shoulder, back at Damon, grateful he was giving her time with her brother, but was staying close in case she needed him. As she knelt in the grass talking to her brother, she picked up a clump of dirt, crushing it in her hand, letting it sift through her fingers, repeating the process over and over.

Later, she had no idea how much later, she felt Damon's hand on her shoulder.

"You ready to go? We can stay a while longer if you want."

"I'm ready. Help me up?" She brushed her hands together, wiping off the loose dirt there, before extending her hand to Damon. With a quick tug, she was on her feet and wrapped in his arms, as he kissed the top of her head.

"I love you, Elena. I know this hurts, but it will get easier."

"I know it will. And, I love you, too." Linking her arm with his, she led them through the cemetery to his car. "Getting away from Mystic Falls will help, too."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Elena wasn't convinced that Damon wasn't just doing it for her.

"Yeah, I think it's time. I'll talk to Stef while we're in Tokyo, but I don't think he'll have a problem with it."

'This' was finding a long, lost Salvatore relative and signing the boarding house over to them. Being in Mystic Falls was just too painful for Elena and they didn't intend to return anytime soon, maybe not for decades, if ever.

With Jeremy's death, a chapter in their lives had ended. Damon had declared it was time for new adventures, beginning in Tokyo. All that stood in their way was some lose ends that would be tied up by the end of the day. They would be boarding an eleven pm flight for Tokyo where they would meet Stefan and Caroline to begin their next chapter, their next adventure.

* * *

_A/N - I know I've said it many times before, but thank you, thank you, thank you for reading. You've no idea how much it means to me._

_I do have a confession about this epilogue. There was one more scene that I deleted. It was a very short teaser that led into a possible new fic in this story line, picking up many, many years later. If you would like to read it (again it is VERY short), just PM me here or DM me on twitter ( fangirlingblog) and I'll be happy to sent it to you._

_Thanks again! craftyjhawk_


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